Well, well, well....we have a well. It had water in it at some point. When we found our dream home, we knew there was a well and we were also informed that because of the years of drought in California, it was pretty dry, like my weird sense of humor. We would have to buy trucked in water. YEP, it's a think! Big truck gets water from magical spigot and delivers when we call, seemed pretty legit. Thousands of gallons of water on demand! It would takes days to get enough water from the old house using only the kitchen faucet and orange five gallon buckets, this would be much faster and easier! There's a catch though, the trucked in water mixes a little bit with whatever well water is left before it gets to the house soooo trucked in water mixes with the well water making it 'well-ish.)
The listing agent assured us that the water was totally drinkable. The well inspector assured us that "everyone out here drinks the water from their wells." Some other people even casually mentioned that if it bothered us to drink well-ish water then just use bottled water for drinking and cooking and we'd be fine and dandy. Insert raised eyebrow here!
Thank the heavens for our agent DS! She said, "Why don't you guys just test the water so you know what you're dealing with for sure?" GREAT IDEA! We just need to get a sample from the well source and take it to the testing center and they'll tell us if we'll die from drinking the water from a well that's basically dry anyway.
Um, where's the well? It's on the ridge at the top of the property. How do we get there? Hike! So the Mr. and I try to find a path to the top of the prop, as I like to call it. How hard can this be? My fitness tracker gave me 37 flights of stairs that day and we did not find the top of the prop much less the well. (We should have brought some water with us, we were thirsty after that little trip!) We'll have to try again another day as we were both a wee bit tired from our unfruitful hike of 37 flights of stairs. After another couple of attempts, the Mr. decided to just take a sample from a faucet on the house. He ran it by the testing center and we waited to see if we should up our life insurance. Did I mention that it's more than 37 flights of stairs just to somewhere around the middle of the property?
A day or two later, we get a frantic message from the water testing peeps, "DO NOT DRINK YOUR WATER! YOU WILL SURELY DIE IF YOU DO! IT WILL BE A PAINFUL BUT QUICK DEATH AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO IDENTIFY YOUR PUTRID, STINKING REMAINS!" At least I do remember the first line as accurate. We looked at each other in disbelief and called our agent to thank her for saving our lives. After we moved in and started to talk to the people who actually live on the road and have wells, seems none of them drink their well water straight and pretty much never have. They have fancy filters and contraptions that keep them alive when they have to brush their teeth or cook their pasta. No one consumes their well-ish water as we were lead to believe. Eyebrow still cocked!
So when you come to visit and we offer you water straight from the tap, it means we
don't like you. Maybe I'll save the tap water for the snakes and ticks?!