Suck it Spidey!

Do you ever feel like you're being watched? Even when not a single person is in your house or the room you're in? You just get that feeling that there are some beady eyes on you? I've been getting that feeling a lot since we moved to the Farm. It doesn't matter where I am, I just feel like someone is checking me out all the time. Not like, 'oh! She's hot!" checking me out, just watching me like a serial killer creeper checking me out, possibly waiting to eat my face off!


Turns out, there are eyes on me...lots of them and all the damn time! Freakin' spiders! I think the house was built to be a spider habitat of some sort. All kinds of spiders like it at the Farm. I get it! The Farm is cool, it's peaceful and there's not a lot going on so spiders can dig it. They hang out in the corners, under rugs, in the windows and screens, under the sinks and in the closets. I caught one checking me out while I showered this morning! It was pacing back and forth above the medicine cabinet, knowing full well that that would be my next stop, just waiting to eat my face off!


I sleep with my mouth closed and this is why. I do not want to eat them as much as they want to eat me so I grind my teeth every night even more since we moved here. Thankfully I have a weapon to save me, a whole house vacuum with the longest, most suckiest hose ever created! I do the spider-sucking-shuffle with that bad girl, she's amazing! I wonder who I can call to clean out the vacuum machine thingy before it explodes spiders guts everywhere. Know anyone?

Yes, spiders where harmed in the post. Not this one though.

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